El Escritor Inglés: December 2011

Friday, December 23, 2011

The Blue Square Enigma

The diagram below (Figure 33.1) was sent to me by someone with an anagrammatic name. Knowing what nasties can emerge from Pandora’s cyber-box, I never open email attachments from unfamiliar sources. However, I know, also, what a rat smells like, so, for once, I felt confident in taking a risk.

Figure 33.1: The pieces fit, with or without the little blue square. How come?

Copyright unidentified. Fair Dealing asserted.

OK, what do we have? Two identical right-angled triangles, each 13 units by 5. ‘A’ contains four constituent shapes: two dissimilar right-angled triangles (red and dark green) and two L-shaped hexagons (orange and light green), all apparently comprising a precise geometric tessellation.

Now look at ‘B’. Within an identical space are the same four shapes along with an additional one, namely the blue, single-unit square. How can it possibly fit? Surely, the total area of any shape is equal to the sum of its parts. This cannot be true in both cases. Therein lies the rub; and it is, I admit, a pretty neat puzzle.

To find the solution, we must remember that the total area of ‘A’ is equal to that of ‘B’.

Area of a right-angled triangle = half the product of its perpendicular sides = ½(13 x 5) = 32½ units.

Next, we must calculate the area of each constituent shape.

Area of red triangle = ½(8 x 3) = 12 units

Area of dark-green triangle = ½(5 x 2) = 5 units

The hexagons are easy: we can just count the unit squares in each. Thus:

Area of orange hexagon = 7 units

Area of light-green hexagon = 8 units

Therefore, the area of the sum of the parts of ‘A’ is 32 (12 + 5 + 7 + 8) units. As for ‘B’, that of the sum of its parts equals 32 plus one, i.e. 33 units, taking into account the blue square.

Hence, neither in the case of ‘A’ nor ‘B’ does the total (32½ units) equal the sum of the parts. For ‘A’, the sum (32 units) amounts to half a unit less than its total, whereas for ‘B’, the sum (33 units) is half a unit more. In other words, the shapes of ‘A’ are slightly too small to fit the outer triangle, those of ‘B’ marginally too large. Neither represents an exact tessellation, despite appearing as such in the diagram. The truth is that a half-unit (1.5%) area discrepancy can be imperceptible to the human eye. It is, of course, an optical illusion.

My eyes light up at the sight of a puzzle (Figure 33.2). Family and close friends know that, which helped me to point the finger. Besides, my anonymous challenger, your anagram was clumsy. I know who you are. Nice try, though!

Figure 33.2: Feliz navidad a todos. Voy a estar en contacto pronto.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

An Edwardian Memoir

DOUBLE-LENGTH ARTICLE

My great-grandfather was the first resident of Wrexham to own a motor car. Born in London in 1871, he had moved north at the age of 16, eventually becoming director of a large Liverpool-based brewery. At 38, he embarked on a two-week cycling holiday in the south of England. His six children, all under the age of nine, remained at home with their mother, who was six months pregnant with the seventh. (In order to absolve him of mindblowing selfishness, let us presume that he employed nannies.)

A summary of the adventure, which I copied verbatim from his original journal, provides a nostalgic view of Edwardian life by an upper-middle-class gentleman.

SATURDAY, 11th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Left Wrexham, 7:12 a.m. train, with bicycle. Broke journey at Birmingham for an hour. Arrived at Warwick about noon. Walked around Warwick and saw castle from river. Weather turned misty, slight rain. Cycled to Leamington Spa, 3 miles. Lunched at hotel near station. Walked in gardens and took waters in Pump Rooms (Figure 32.1). Good roads and very clean town. Cycled to Banbury, saw the ‘Cross’ (Figure 32.2) and market and had tea at the Olde Cake Shop (Figure 32.3). Took 4:35 p.m. train to Oxford. Put up at Dodson’s Hotel (Temperance) near station. Music Hall in evening. Catholic church.’

Figure 32.1: The Royal Pump Rooms, Leamington Spa. At the turn of the 20th century, people would travel many miles to ‘take the waters’ in the belief that the perceived purity would act as a panacea for illness. Today, the building serves as a museum, art gallery, public library and café.

Reproduced by kind permission

Figure 32.2: Ride a cock horse to Banbury Cross, according to the 18th-century English rhyme

Copyright expired

Figure 32.3: A photograph of the Old Cake Shop, Banbury, Oxfordshire, taken in the 1960s. http://www.rootsweb.ancestry.com/~engcbanb/index.htm

SUNDAY, 12th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Walked by river path and then to church 11 a.m. Cycled round city and to luncheon. Cycled in afternoon. Folly Bridge (Figure 32.4) etc.’

Figure 32.4: Oxford’s Folly Bridge is a two-part, stone construction, designed by London architect Ebenezer Perry, and built 1825-7.

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MONDAY, 13th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Left Oxford by steamer, Salter Brothers’ ‘Henley’ (Figure 32.5). Weather wet. Saw fishing contest 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Met two Americans on board. Lunched at Wallingford The Lamb (Figure 32.6). Arrived at Henley and stayed at White Hart. Lovely scenery – house boats and riverside. Flowers in profusion.’

Figure 32.5: Salters steamer ‘Henley’, painted by British watercolourist William Matthison (1853–1926). http://www.salterssteamers.co.uk/history.htm

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Figure 32.6: The Lamb, Wallingford circa 1906. The building now houses an antiques arcade, café and Thai restaurant. http://www.thelambarcade.co.uk

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TUESDAY, 14th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Continued steamboat trip. Weather brighter. Lunched on board. Visited Windsor Castle and St George’s Chapel. Left steamer at Hampton Court and, after leaving bicycle at Parcels Office, caught train to Waterloo arriving about 7:30 p.m. Taxi to Strand Palace Hotel – opened today – full up for one month. Booked room at Faulkner’s Hotel (Figure 32.7), Villiers Street, Strand side of Charing Cross.’

Figure 32.7: Although Faulkner’s no longer graces Villiers Street, London, the building remains a hotel.

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WEDNESDAY, 15th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Visited St Dunstan’s in the East Church. Person in charge of Registers, Mr W J Lang, was away. Next visited St Mary’s Parish Church, Rotherhithe – no trace of Grandpapa Spradbery’s first marriage. Lunched at Strand Palace Hotel. Spent two hours in Strangers’ Gallery at House of Commons. Just Land Bill discussion in the House. Went to cinematograph entertainment.’

THURSDAY, 16th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Went by Bakerloo to Waterloo and caught train to Hampton Court. Cycled there via Staines, Henley, Windsor, Maidenhead (saw Woolley Hall), Reading where I lunched. Detained over an hour by heavy rain. Cycled via Chatham to Alton, Hants. Put up at Market Hotel (not over comfortable).’

FRIDAY, 17th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Cycled to Winchester, saw cathedral. Romsey (saw Priory) then thro’ New Forest, a delightful ride, beautiful scenery. Saw the ‘Rufus Stone’ (Figure 32.8) and on to Ringwood and Bournemouth, arriving about 7 p.m. Dunstan (brother) had secured rooms at Ferndale Middle Road, Westbourne, comfortable and very cheap. Enjoyed band on pier. Lovely gardens.’

Figure 32.8: The Rufus Stone, in the New Forest, marks the spot where King William II (c. 1056-1100) died during a hunting trip. He was given the name William Rufus because of his red-faced appearance.

Copyright expired

SATURDAY, 18th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Took coach drive thro’ Rhododendron Drive to Cannock Rocks. Afternoon Winter Gardens. Evening church & pier.’

SUNDAY, 19th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Church (a few doors off). Wait with Dunstan, Polly (sister-in-law) and Philippa (niece) to the shore – a lovely walk. Dined with Dunstan and Polly. Cycled to Poole – in morning to Boscombe in afternoon along the cliffs. A beautiful ride.’

MONDAY, 20th SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Went for trip round Isle of Wight in Bournemouth, 2 miles most enjoyable and a beautiful day. Landed at Southsea.’

TUESDAY, 21st SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Said farewell to Dunstan and Polly. Cycled towards home via Wimborne, Cranborne, Salisbury (saw cathedral) over Salisbury Plain then Aylesbury up Avon to Hungerford. Put up in Three Arrows Hotel – very comfortable but expensive.’

WEDNESDAY, 22nd SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Oxford (called for letters). Saw original picture ‘Light of the World’ (Figure 32.9) by Holman Hunt at Keble College. Banbury, had lunch. Leamington Spa – had a glass of the waters again – Warwick and on to Birmingham about 90 miles in all, arriving about 9 p.m. Put up at Waverley – read Belfast speech*, just delivered at Bingley Hall, before retiring.’

* On the 17th, prime minister Herbert Asquith had spoken on the subject of Irish Home Rule at Bingley Hall, Birmingham. The meeting was for men only. However, two suffragettes climbed on to an adjacent roof and threw slates at the PM’s car.

Figure 32.9: William Holman Hunt (1827-1910), a founder of the Pre-Raphaelite Brotherhood, painted Light of the World at night in a makeshift hut at Worcester Park Farm, Surrey. The original remains at Oxford’s Keble College, where my great-grandfather viewed it, 102 years ago.

Copyright expired

THURSDAY, 23rd SEPTEMBER, 1909

‘Thunderstorm at Birmingham. Delayed me 1½ hours. Had a vile ride from B’ham to Wolverhampton. Roads deplorable for about 15 miles, improving when W’hampton was left – Wellington – Shrewsbury (cycle carnival on) Ellesmere (took wrong road). Sheltered from rain and had wash and enjoyable tea at roadside public house near Ellesmere. Arrived Wrexham about 8 p.m. Machine and self very mud-stained.’

Madonna del Ghisallo would have been proud of him (Figure 32.10).

Figure 32.10: My great-grandfather (seated, left), photographed with his family circa 1946. He lived to the age of 82. (All that cycling ...)

Monday, December 05, 2011

Come, Eurogeddon, Come

What do former UK prime minister Margaret Thatcher, disgraced Canadian sprinter Ben Johnson and singer-songwriter Morrissey have in common? The link is both tenuous and personal, the date Saturday, 24th September, 1988.

The previous evening, I had arrived in the Scottish border town of Jedburgh and crashed at a friend’s place en route to Durham in northeast England. The Summer Olympics were in full swing, albeit 5,500 miles away in Seoul, South Korea. The nine-hour time difference meant that the Men’s 100m Final – all ten seconds of it – would take place at about 3:30 a.m. British time. We stayed up all night and watched a steroid-fuelled Johnson outrun reigning champion Carl Lewis (and future champion Linford Christie), smashing the world record in the process (Figure 31.1). Ethics apart, it was an unforgettable spectacle.

Figure 31.1: The infamous race in Seoul

After breakfast, I trudged, red-eyed, to the bus terminal and boarded a National Express coach. Past the stage of wanting to sleep, I spent three hours listening to my Sony Walkman – there were no iPods back then – and reading the Times. The song that always reminds me of the journey is Morrissey’s Everyday Is Like Sunday (Figure 31.2), a soulful 80s classic complete with plaintive melody and evocative lyrics. Who else but Morrissey could have written the words ‘Come, Armageddon, Come’?

Figure 31.2: Morrissey's obra maestra reached number 9 in the UK singles chart

In that day’s newspaper was the fallout from Mrs Thatcher’s seminal speech given to the College of Europe in Bruges the previous Monday (Figure 31.3) (see link below). Her words, which I read on the coach, still resonate:

‘To try to suppress nationhood and concentrate power at the centre of a European conglomerate would be highly damaging and would jeopardize the objectives we seek to achieve. Europe will be stronger precisely because it has France as France, Spain as Spain, Britain as Britain, each with its own traditions and identity. It would be folly to try to fit them into some sort of identikit European personality... We have not rolled back the frontiers of the state in Britain to see them re-imposed at a European level, with a European superstate exercising a new dominance from Brussels.’

Figure 31.3: Thatcher in Bruges – the birth of modern Euroscepticism

Since I read those excerpts, 23 years ago, I have never doubted the wisdom of her warning. As I write, the markets are becoming convinced that the Euro currency is a failure. Many – I among them – would argue that it was ever thus. A few days ago, I decided to throw a firework under the table – or, more precisely, into an English-speaking German newspaper (see link below).

‘The Euro will collapse, possibly even before the end of 2011. Its creation was political and flew in the face of economic fundamentals. The UK learned a bitter lesson in 1992 when it was ejected from the Exchange Rate Mechanism of the European Monetary System. Prior to its de facto expulsion, interest rates had been kept cripplingly (and inappropriately) high in order to maintain an untenable exchange rate. Only when the pound was allowed to find its natural level, by devaluation, did the UK's economic recovery begin. As it was then, so it will be for the stricken Eurozone economies. Then, once the short-term shock subsides, each of the affected nations will, by means of an independent currency and floating exchange rate, be able to determine its own future, free from the Euro straitjacket.’

Then I waited, all of half an hour, for the predictable response.

‘The Euro is not a straightjacket [sic], but rather a part of a political project that has fostered peace and prosperity on the continent - a "guarantee for peace" as Kohl recently put it.’

This is a tired, and quite ludicrous, argument. Peace in Europe does not depend upon the existence of a corrupt, anti-democratic supra-national authority with a one-size-fits-all currency. It never did. Indeed, cordiality between nations could go up in smoke if, for example, Germany succeeds in its attempt to determine fiscal policy in Greece and Italy (Figure 31.4). What right does it have? Besides, the fatal flaw inherent to the Euro was in removing the vital feedback mechanism of exchange rate fluctuation. Moreover, when it was introduced, there was no provision to allow any nation to leave. This was deliberate – and how very devious. It is a straitjacket, but its seams are about to give. ‘Eurogeddon’ is almost upon us, and it will certainly be painful in the short term. Nonetheless, I hope nothing stands in its way. A United States of Europe, the only alternative, would be anything but.

Figure 31.4: Not everyone views German chancellor Angela Merkel as an advocate of European harmony

To paraphrase Morrissey: Come, Eurogeddon, come. I, for one, have waited long enough (Figure 31.5).

Figure 31.5: Crossing Durham's Elvet Bridge – a 22-year-old student with a head full of Margaret Thatcher, Ben Johnson and Morrissey

Acknowledgement: Malcolm Warne, Editor, Durham Times

http://www.margaretthatcher.org/document/107332
http://www.thelocal.de/money/20111201-39249.html

Copyright 2011 Paul Spradbery

Friday, December 02, 2011

Emperor's New Paintings

One of my forebears, the celebrated Walter E. Spradbery (1889-1969) (Figure 30.1), was listed in Who’s Who in Art. An Official War Artist during WW2 (Figure 30.2), no one, regardless of personal taste, could view his works and deny his immense talent.

Figure 30.1: Walter E. Spradbery, DCM - a gifted artist

Copyright expired

Figure 30.2: Walter's iconic 1944 depiction of post-blitz St Paul's Cathedral, London

Copyright unidentified. Fair Dealing asserted.

In peacetime, Walter designed a number of classic posters for London Transport (Figure 30.3) (see link below). Whenever I am in London, I try to make time to visit the Transport Museum’s shop in Covent Garden, principally to see which of his posters have recently been reissued, but also to peruse other artists’ works. Almost all are skillfully created, some exceptional. My interest in London art is, therefore, more than casual.

Figure 30.3: One of Walter's many classic watercolours

Copyright unidentified. Fair Dealing asserted.

Next summer, London will host the 30th Olympiad. At a time of economic fragility throughout Europe, the event could become anything from a source of future national pride to an economic and cultural disaster. All the more reason, then, for the nation to portray itself artfully. Who could forget Walter Herz’s iconic poster design for the previous London Olympics, held in 1948 (Figure 30.4)?

Figure 30.4: Official poster for the 1948 London Summer Olympics

Copyright unidentified. Fair Dealing asserted.

This year, a variety of esteemed British artists were, according to the BBC, ‘asked to create a work that either celebrated the Games coming to London or embodied the values of the Olympics or Paralympics’. I have reproduced four of them in this article, alongside something my young sons painted (Figures 30.5, 30.6, 30.7, 30.8 and 30.9). In other words, four are by illustrious artists, the other by primary school kids with no discernible artistic talent. Which is which?

Figure 30.5

Figure 30.6

Figure 30.7

Figure 30.8

Figure 30.9

In case you cannot decide:

Figure 30.5: Martin Creed, a former Turner Prize winner, completed his work using only five brush strokes, one for each (apparently random) colour. He claims that it represents an extended podium. Creativity? Effort? Dexterity? Originality? Where? (Copyright 2011 Martin Creed)

Figure 30.6: The contributor, here, is Sir Howard Hodgkin CH, CBE. The BBC states: ‘in the darkest area ... a figure can just about be made out’. This is laughable. If I squint at my wardrobe door, I can make out a smiling face in the wood’s grain, but I would not credit the carpenter with anything other than good craftsmanship. Indeed, visualization of the human form in everyday objects is innate to us all. (Copyright 2011 Howard Hodgkin)

Figure 30.7: Bridget Riley CH, CBE uses parallel lines to indicate ‘the direction of the Olympic swimming lanes or athletic tracks. (She) began her career using only black and white patterns, started to experiment with colour in 1967, the same year she began painting stripes.’ With just a flicker of imagination, she might have included a bend in the ‘track’ or perhaps some demonstration of perspective. Have 44 years proved insufficient time to master such fine skills? (Copyright 2011 Bridget Riley)

Figure 30.8: ‘The large circle in the bottom of Gary Hume's poster represents the wheel of a wheelchair and the smaller circle represents a tennis ball.’ Really? Two dissimilar circles could represent almost anything. (Copyright 2011 Gary Hume)

Figure 30.9: This was produced by my sons, using a pack of felt-tips. It took them about five minutes, while they were watching television. (Copyright 2011 Paul Spradbery)

Perhaps the 2012 Olympic ‘artists’ are secretly laughing up their sleeves, having fooled at least some of their intended audience. At least I hope they are laughing. The alternative is that they, like the naked emperor in Hans Christian Andersen’s fable, are oblivious to their own pretentiousness, which would be mildly disturbing. What I find most depressing, though, is that these worthless daubs are to represent the best of British to the rest of humanity.

I wonder what my illustrious ancestor would think.

http://www.ltmcollection.org/posters/artist/artist.html?IXartist=Walter+E+Spradbery

Copyright 2011 Paul Spradbery